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04:33pm 25/12/2008
  last week grandmother passed away - the one in cambodia - the one i met last year for the first time ever. kinda knew it was the last time i was going to see her. but still -- death is a horrible thing. . . weirdly enough, cause i've planned my funeral in grade school when other little girls were planning their 'wedding' . . . yeah i have my wedding planned too but i just got to sucker some guy into marrying me -- death is much easier -- i can do it alone. hazzah.
so anyways, sarcasm aside -- i'm horrible at funeral - i just cry and cry. but i'm horrible at weddings too - i just cry and cry.
love is oxytocin - i figured that out. . . jerks!

but yeah, so holidays is null - but i never really celebrate anyways - i usually just work, i think this is the first time in years where i haven't worked on xmas day. . .
tomorrow i'm working though -

today i did a rough for the music video that i've been working on - yay.
now continuing working on the documentary that we just shot.

then digitizing some tapes for a friend - i feel that the holidays will be eaten up. and i still won't have time to do everything i need to do with pat's music video.
oh time can be crazy. . .

but yeah, i have to figure out who i am and where i belong in this 'chinese culture'. . . where will i send my parents' spirit when the time comes -- i really have to learn more -- especially when i don't have any chinese friends either. . . ahh. . . what am i to do.
all i can think of at my grandmother's ceremony was -- wow. . . how will i know, even at my other grandmother's funeral almost 2 yrs ago -- i dont know much about my culture. . . i've been raised on television and michaelena dinners -- and then my mother asked me today -- how come you're not chinese enough. . . then she proceeded to give me the 'chinsese' speech.

how did it ever happen this way? *shrugs*
         9 became my reality -  its in your nature
07:16pm 08/11/2008
         1 became my reality -  its in your nature
technology is so cruel!!!   
02:37am 26/12/2007
  so i'm going to enter the ipod world this winter - - -
Now to decide - both does what i want - one is more gigs per moula - the other way too uber cool. . .
so an 80 gig ipod classic - or an 16 gig ipod touch.
80 gig is way cheaper but the itouch is . . . "whoa!"

i just need it to play video and music -- projected out on to a ... projector. . .

should i have practicallity outweigh my need to be uber cool?
         6 became my reality -  its in your nature
azn pride...   
04:19pm 18/11/2007
  I realized i gots none.

But i did dye my hair black, so i wouldn't scare my grandmother away. . . wah wah!
       its in your nature
show in december!!   
10:00pm 06/11/2007
  Front of Poster!
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
Back of poster
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Now i'm actually looking towards this show! should be fun w/ bands and weirdos... i mean. . . wonderful ppl. .. luv it!!!
       its in your nature
would you like to help?   
01:57am 10/10/2007
  I don't know who reads this anymore. . . but I'm fighting against cancer - that's teh new cause i've picked up in life.
If you would like to sponsor me. . . please click on the link below


So . .. i have to raise at least 2500 dollars. i'm about 2000 dollar short.
So . . . Pat and i have come up w/ an idea - an artist night, to help out - - - watch for more info - as of now, i'm recruiting bands, vendors etc.

So far i've got two bands, a handful of short films and in search of a venue.
The idea is there - Just have to iron it out.
I'm writing it out on here - so that i actually have to go thru w/ it. no wussing out for rany - cause cancer matters.
1 in 3 ppl eventually grow to have it.

From now on, every dollar i make from a show - i'm hiding it in my cubby hole and tossing it in the fund.

Currently looking for a venue. . .
argh. so much work. !
and then i have a real job too. .. .
       its in your nature
cancer quest   
11:04pm 27/09/2007
  Hello all,
So i don't know if you know this but i'm riding to conquer cancer - the yellow bikes - they've gotten to me.
So i'm wondering if you would like to sponsor me - - - - -
i'll eventually start spamming you all in the near future. . . some i may have gotten already. . .

but here's the link if you would like to help my fight for cancer ---

for this holiday i think i may just ask ppl to donate money for me instead of recieving 'stuff'
i still have about 2000 dollars to raise. . . massive bake sales coming up i guess

OR if you're interested in riding w/ me (since im doing this alone so far) you can register at
hope to see you there!
         2 became my reality -  its in your nature
by golly cheez whiz   
08:33pm 13/09/2007
  i just found a huge container of cheez whiz in the craft bin.... mmmmm...cheez whiz!  
         2 became my reality -  its in your nature
12:30am 30/08/2007
  mr. bon jovi and richie sombora looks old.. and kinda wrinkly... but he can still sing. . . . *swoon*  
         2 became my reality -  its in your nature
06:12pm 28/07/2007
  what do ppl do for fun on a saturday? i have the night off!!! woot!  
         4 became my reality -  its in your nature
last minute postering   
01:22pm 28/06/2007
  Look at the posters i've found!

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
         1 became my reality -  its in your nature
bicycle, bicycle, i want to ride my bicycle, i want to ride my bike!   
04:53am 15/06/2007
  But i can't cause someone took it. the funny thing is this:
i found a lock that was cut --- and it wasn't my lock it must've been earlier in the night. . . . i parked it at king and spadina - it was busy for goodness sake. =(
i had this horrible feeling all week that i was going to part w/ my bike. . . so i felt extra happy riding it. =(
         8 became my reality -  its in your nature
02:21pm 09/06/2007
  Okay, i want to join a gym. i'm having a dilemmna, none of the gyms are my hours - cuase i basically want to work out when i get home from my crazy hours of work. i get home around 3am . i want a gym. . . but i can't cause it's all closed - besides STEAMWORKS for men. . . =(
that's 24.

but . . .i'm a girl ----- i would love running outside except for the fact that running outside hurts my lungs, it's too sunny so i have to wear sunglasses and i just can't excercise as long as i want.

Alot of gyms open at 7am.... on weekends. - i finish work at 5am on weekends.
Geez, i just want to lose 20 lbs. =(
         3 became my reality -  its in your nature
06:57pm 02/06/2007
  Today i woke up at around 7pm. i feel like i've slept forever. but then again i went to bed at 10am.... now i feel horribly tired and my hip hurts. .. . =(
I guess i did sleep 9 hours and that's amazing compared to my 5-6 hours of sleep. . .
         1 became my reality -  its in your nature
01:04pm 26/05/2007
  does anyone know where i can purchase a soccer ball around the bloor/spadina area. . .

i'm craving soccer
too bad i work too much i want to join an intermural soccer team =(
         2 became my reality -  its in your nature
oh my goodness   
12:00am 19/05/2007
  i think i may actually be free tomorrow.... wow. . .. that would be uberly exciting! =)  
         4 became my reality -  its in your nature
are you ready for this?   
09:52pm 11/05/2007
  or am i? it's a test before working two jobs again. . . on monday.
tonight going into work at midnight working from then to sunday morning. kind of excited.... mommy gave me food and i'm bringing my pjs. =)
         1 became my reality -  its in your nature
pretty little kitty   
07:03pm 10/05/2007
  my pretty little kitty is laying on her crate starring out side the window. . . once in awhile starring at my pretty little sunflower. her eyes are squinted trying hard to fall asleep. how i just want to snuggle with her and squish her little soft belly . . .. mmm. . . belly  
         3 became my reality -  its in your nature
Reelworld - come out!   
10:42am 11/04/2007
  So i've worked on a feature all of last year, it's finally done (hopes!) it premiers today at 7pm at the paramount - at the reelworld festival at 7pm . A Winter Tale

Then my own film is playing thursday at 1.30 pm at the rainbow cinema

Then Unspoken promise is playing on saturday with A Winter Tale again at 4pm at the rainbow

And then Justin's film that i helped with also is playing on sunday at the reelworld fest. at 11am at the Rainbow.

Oh gosh! combine that with photos this saturday -- i'm going to die. . . at least idol is not so busy this week . . .

       its in your nature
she turns 2   
10:13am 11/04/2007
         3 became my reality -  its in your nature